Adventure of Boi-Pirate

Wednesday, June 2, 2010 || rocky rough.. not smooth

~~11:05:00 PM~~

hey hey bloggers..

been a very very long time since i blogged.. i even forgot how to link ppl up.. hahas.. well new things happened since my last entry.. im not in ns already.. been more then a year since i ORD.. well life as usual is not very smooth.. work work work.. currently im working with camelot, inno, EDU Outdoor n a few other outdoor camp companies.. but im only a freelance instructor.. nw i prefer only doing kayaking instructor.. at times ill do group instructor.. see my mood and see "who" is doing.. heh heh heh.. but i cant be doing this my whole life can i.. this is what im doing while im finding some other full time job..

as i was working, there came this girl.. a person who u will always see her as a cheerful person, who loves to laugh, smile and just be happy.. at first i wanted to be friends with her.. i got to noe her, got closer to her.. until one day, i realised that i have fallen for her.. i get jealous sumtimes, i text her everyday, call her every night.. we do camps together most of the time.. she will be the first person i set my eyes on in the morning and the last person b4 i sleep.. until one day something happened on a nearby island which caught my attention.. she prevented something that almost happened and said that it was only for me.. that took me by surprise.. that text that she gave me, i read it over for like 3 times b4 replying.. i was smiling the whole time.. she has fallen for me as well..

one day, we confessed to each other our true feelings.. we got closer every single day.. until one day when i asked her "the question".. n guess what.. she accepted!! well, u might think that all is well after that.. nope.. right after, it went straight down.. my mistake.. then i explained myself.. all was well again.. one after another problems start to come up.. but i must say, its all coz of me.. well ppl out there who have said that she should meave me.. but she chose to stay.. ppl say that im taking advantage of her, ppl say that i i dun deserve her.. even some of my friends were on her side.. well what can i say, im not taking advantage of her, nor am i using her.. no one noes my true feelings towards her except me.. i am not superman, i am not the amazing guy who can do wonders.. im juz an ordianry guy who makes mistakes here and loves his gf.. but ppl ask y hurt that person when u love that person.. well let me tell u this..u think i purposely want to hurt her? y would i want to hurt her in the first place? she din do anything wrong to me, she showeered me with love care and concers just like what i showed her as well.. but ppl do make mistakes in life.. everyone.. even her.. sumtimes i do get hurt abt what she did.. but i juz kept quiet abt it.. i din show that much coz i juz love the way we are when we are happy together.. i dont like long fights.. i juz want to see her smile again, laugh again.. sumtimes i call her n she dun pick up.. i really dont like ppl rejecting my calls.. but i dun want to add oil to the flame so i juz kept quiet abt it.. no use telling her off when she is already mad.. will just make it worse.. sumtimes i just dunno how to "pujok" her.. sumtimes i get frustrated at myself for doing sumthing foolish.. she scolds me, she said things abt me but i still hold on.. y? coz she is an important part of my life.. y is she that important? coz she is the only one i turn to for anything.. be it when im sick, when im troubled or even when i had fun outside and want to tell sumone abt it.. she is the only one i turn to to tell my stories..

whats happening now? i did sumthing i was not supposed to and broke our deal.. i wanted to tell her the next day saying that i did broke the deal.. but hey, she is always 1 step ahead of me..well she got mad again.. then she said she was ok.. but i noe she is not.. i can see, i can feel that she is not ok.. tried to talk to her, but she is juz so " keras mcm batu".. now she is sick and i dunno what to do.. hey!!! i noe her lunch time.. and i noe what she likes to eat!! hahas.. ill get her some food n send it to her in school.. then ill go to work.. kk take care ppl.. its 0907 in the morning.. im off to siap n go out..

Adventures of Boi-Pirate continues .....